• Amy


Updated: Feb 6, 2020

Ever since being at school, I've always been self concious of my figure. I have swimmers shoulders, big boobs, a short torso and no thigh gap... which makes for a very insecure teenager! Luckily, as I grew into my twenties, I started to realise that I was never going to be a UK size 8 (US size 4 for my US readers) and that the best I could do was to fuel my body with healthy, nutritious food (most of the time) and try to maintain a healthy balance.

It wasn't until we were trying to get pregnant however that I REALLY started to look at what I was putting into my body - and so our growing baby - and make the healthiest choices I could, both nutritionally and also mentally/emotionally! I worked hard during pregnancy to maintain a healthy and steady increase in my weight {in the end only gaining 25lbs total}, but also to allowing myself to indulge where I wanted too and enjoy myself.

I loved my bump so much. I have never felt more confident and happy in my own skin than when I was growing Rosie inside my very round belly. I would look down with a warm fuzzy feeling and LOVE that I couldn’t see my feet, and waddle around Lake Fimon for a dog walk like I was strutting my stuff on a catwalk. I wore tighter fitting maternity clothes to show off my ever expanding waistline- no husbands t-shirts for me! Even catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror at home with my beachball belly would make me stop and smile. It was like having a weight lifted off my shoulders. I felt like no-one was judging how flat my stomach was, or if I’d worked out hard enough recently. I got so many compliments, and with my new found body positivity started to believe them rather than brush them off as empty comments from people just being nice. And after 9 months of not worrying- finally the positivity stuck!

Initially post Rosie I was squishy, sore and unsure of how I would react to my new body. I had loved my bump, but now 5 days postpartum (and wearing an adult nappy!) I was left with a very soft bump, which obviously (and thankfully) no-one commented on.

I didn’t mind though.

My body had just done something amazing and I was not going to give it a hard time when it needed to recover. I was too busy giving my all to my new baby girl to worry about my stomach being flat or thinking about what my first postpartum workout was going to be! Out came the loose, breastfeeding friendly clothes (all paired with leggings!) and not once did I look in the mirror with sadness. And everytime a thought even remotely came close to creeping into my head, it just took one look at Rosie to completely banish it, and remember what a hero my body had been for growing and now feeding my healthy little baby.

Don’t get me wrong. Postpartum recovery is hard, and painful at times, and demoralising at others. It’s waking up multiple times at night to feed and soothe your baby, and then waking up in the morning to another whole day of the same. It’s relentless. (Especially when you’re husband goes back to work, and then goes away for training 2 days later, leaving you totally solo new-mumming for 2 weeks, with a 3 week old baby.) But this post isn’t about that. There are plenty of those kind of blog posts out there, and this post isn’t about how hard postpartum can be. This post is about learning to love our bodies, whatever stage of life we find ourselves in, and finding that ‘thing’ that changes our mindset into a positive one where we love them and not scrutinize every mark, roll and wrinkle. For me, that was pregnancy.

9 months later, and through a combination of dog walks, eating healthily (to make sure my breastmilk was as healthy as it could be for Rosie) & some sporadic exercise, my body is the same weight as it was before pregnancy. But it is not the same. My tummy has excess skin when I bend over, my hips are a little wider...and my heart a million times bigger. It grew, protected, and birthed my perfect little Rosie and for that I now have the utmost love and respect for it. My boobs have fed Rosie for 9 months and although they have some little white stretch marks and are EVEN BIGGER than before, I have learnt to love them and the precious milk they have given Rosie. The female body is truly wonderful, and I am proud to finally say that I LOVE MINE!

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